The Melancholy Of Being A Debut Author

On September 29th, 2020 I became a published author. My book baby, Moon In Bastet, finally hit the proverbial book shelves in the middle of the Covid19 era. Albeit my book being sold by major booksellers and having accomplished a huge milestone that many people only dream about, I've found myself in a bit of a melancholy state.

Why am I melancholy?

The wait.

Every author knows that unless you're a celebrity or an already established author, debut books can take a while to grab the attention of readers, if they do at all.

Publishing a book can feel like a dream on release day. There are the shares, the congratulations, and the post likes. But what about after this initial introduction of your book baby to the world? What then?

Things get quiet.

Real quiet.

Sure, I get the occasional review and the plentiful book tour shares - and even though these things are great in the long run, I still can't help but feel like I'm alone in a room with slowly dripping water. The water started dripping as soon as I started writing my first draft, but it's taken almost two years to finally form a tiny puddle.

I want an ocean.

Maybe it's the Aries in me... or that debut author's angst... but my feelings seem to be adversaries, balancing each other out into melancholy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm freaking excited. Like on the edge of my seat excited. Like I'm at the top of a roller coaster about to take that first plunge. But that's just it. I'm at the top.

Waiting.

How long will I be sitting here, waiting to take the plunge?

When will my book be picked up by the large and plentiful reading communities of the world?

Will it even be picked up at all? Will it make it past this initial hump and into the realm of known and wildly talked about books?

Will I, E.S. Danon, be one of the lucky authors who gets to take that plunge from the top of the roller coaster, experiencing what it's like to be known? Or more simply put - heard?

One can only hope. Especially an Aries who loves roller coasters.

Until then, I'll be here at the top of the roller coaster waiting for something that may or may not happen. And if it does happen, I sure hope it's the best damn shock of my life.